Reality Check Part 3

On our last day in Ethiopia, we took a ride up to the orphanage where I met this lovely girl. We wanted to touch base with her, exchange information with her, and hopefully communicate our intent to help her. The leader of the orphanage (that is to say, the 14 year old girl who is clearly the leader out of all of these children!) brought us to her. "S" (I can't publish her name) was sitting listless in a chair watching some children play inside. But when she saw me, her face broke into a huge smile and she got up to smother my face with kisses and give me a big, long hug. Then she turned to Brian and did the same. She was still ill, but clearly in a lot better shape than our previous meetings. The ring was gone but, we quickly learned, safe. When Brian went out into the yard so that I could talk to her on my own, the children gathered around him yelling "Ring! Ring!" and trying to remove his wedding band. The incident was clearly famous.

I was happy that she remembered me at all. I wasn't sure whether or not she would, given how sick she was. I immediately felt that I was in love with this girl and that I had to help her and try to help protect her. We sat down with our translator and, per the Gladney staff's advice, I had to be clear from the getgo that I did not intend to adopt her. I told him to tell her that I cared very much for her, but that we could not adopt her. I would put her through college and do anything else I could to help her along the way. Her face fell. Over the course of our meeting I realized that she had literally thought I had come that day to take her home.

The rest of the conversation was on a bit of a downhill slide after that. I know that I have to be honest and up front, because what would happen to this girl's heart if she thought it was my intention to bring her home? Hell, it IS my intention to bring her home, but who knows if I could ever come up with a way to make that happen? What I learned next further complicated my situation: she had two younger brothers who were also with her in the orphanage, one of them sick as she had been. She brought me to them and I told her that I would make sure the boy made it on the bus to the hospital the next day, the bus she had missed.

But three? I must admit that any hope I had had of adopting her myself was quickly vanishing. It still weighs on my mind now, I'm still chewing on it, but I just don't know if I can do three. All at once. Three.

I took a couple of pictures of her. Then I took her hand and we walked out towards the car together. I gave her the biggest hug and biggest kisses I could muster. And then walked away with a promise to write.

We will have to wait and see. More than I want this girl in my family, I want her in my life. I want to know that she is safe and happy and healing. I am going to be working with my agency as well as some interested families to make sure that I can help give her those things. She doesn't need to be in my house to be my family.